I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
