ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
