I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
