I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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