she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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