I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
