We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They took my balls.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
