woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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