I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
In America we eat man semen.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
