champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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