The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
