I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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