this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
