Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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