I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
