i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
