is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize