i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize