So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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