cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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