As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
