I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
