based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
