She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
