I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
