That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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