I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i've created a new STD.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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