He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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