he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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