I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
