Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
