i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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