So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
