That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
