Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
