Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
