Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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