I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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