all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
