you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
