Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
your like the ambassador to my penis.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
