do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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