How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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