His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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