Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
