I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His hands were made for my vagina.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
