I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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