She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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