I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize