Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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