Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
