one might say we're banned from that church
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
