hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
