Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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